Celebrating Malachi!

A couple of weekends ago, some of my friends completely surprised me with a baby shower for Malachi. Special friends from all diferent parts of my life and from the different places that Scott and I have lived were there, and several even drove from a couple of hours away to come celebrate and anticipate our new son with me. Adoption has been a much more difficult and emotional journey than I expected, and the love, support, and prayers of our wonderful group of friends has meant so much to us.

Diaper Cake:)

A beautiful cake my friend Kelly made (that's right - she MADE it!)

Wonderful friends

Lessons From Parenting

One of the things I have loved about becoming a parent is that it gives me a beautiful and clearer glimpse into the heart of God as a Father. Though on a much smaller level, I get to experience what it is like to have a child that I dearly love. When my son, in his ignorance and inability to see the bigger picture that I can see, wants to run out into the street or climb the stairs alone or eat something hot or do something else that I know is not in his best interest, I reach out in love and prevent him from doing or getting what he wants, even as he pitches a fit and cries for his own way and doesn’t understand why I am withholding something from him that he perceives as good. . . Sound familiar?



How many times do we question God for His timing or for withholding something “good” from us, only to see later that what we had perceived as good was not good for us afterall? We get worried and anxious instead of trusing in the sovereignty of our God.

When my son needs to be disciplined, or when I have to let him learn a lesson the “hard way” by experiencing the consequences of making a bad choice, I so clearly see how discipline or allowing something bad to happen in a person’s life is not an indication of a lack of love, but just the opposite. Parenting children is such a gift in that it allows us to experience just a tiny bit of the Father’s heart as he guides our hearts and instructs us, His beloved children.

This parenting experience has affected me most in how I pray and in my commitment to seek a relationship with Christ. When Javen was just a couple months old, I was rocking him in his room and thinking about God’s heart as a parent, and a thought occurred to me:
How would I feel if my child did everything I asked him to do, tried to please me as much as he could, and even told people about how much he loved me . . . but rarely or never spent time talking to me and didn’t desire or cultivate a relationship with me?. . .
. . . or what if he spent 20 minutes talking to me in the morning and then checked me off his list and ignored me for the rest of the day? . . .
. . . or if he only spoke to me when he needed something from me?

There have been plenty of times in my life – and still are way too many days – when I know I grieve the heart of my Father by treating my relationship with Him like that, and I am so grateful first, for His mercy and grace toward me in those times, and second, that being a parent has given me the very humbling opportunity to view myself a little bit more as God must view me and to get a clearer and better picture of the loving kindness of my Heavenly Father.

Friends who are parents or who spend a lot of time with children – how has parenting drawn you closer to God or affected your perspective?

Bye Bye Baby K

One of the first things people usually say about foster parenting is to comment/ask how hard it will be when a child who has been with your family for an extended period leaves. Well, today, we learned that it is indeed hard! After six months of being a part of our family, baby K was moved to live with a relative. We knew it was coming, but it was still sad to see him go, especially knowing that he is not necessarily going back to a functional, happy family situation. We are going to greatly miss his sweet little presence around here!

Foster parenting is hard. In fact, it kind of just stinks much of the time! Adoption is hard in a lot of ways, too, but with adoption, you are working toward a happy ending, a new son or daughter, a new little blessing to call your own. While it requires sacrifice, there is a gain at the end of the adoption road. With foster parenting, a child suddenly shows up on your doorstep with nothing but the clothes on his/her back. You pour into the child, feeding, clothing, playing, taking to doctors appointments, taking to family visits, and trying to love him/her as your own. And then one day, you get a call, and with little notice, a stranger comes and takes that child away to go live in a situation that almost always is not what you would consider an ideal or even a good situation. You have no control over it. No one thanks you for the time, effort, and love you put into raising their child for months on end. You probably never hear from or about that child again, and you never know if the time that you poured into that child’s life will make a real difference in the outcome of his/her life. People will question to your face whether what you are pouring your time and your heart into really matters in the end or makes a difference in the grand scheme of the child’s life.

Does a questionable end result matter, though, or are we only supposed to do things that satisfy us with visible, tangible results? Does the Bible say to care for orphans or love people or share the Gospel with someone only when you are absolutely certain it will make a difference? Or is it about obedience . . . obeying what God has called us to do whether or not He allows us to see the fruit of our labor?

If foster parenting has taught me anything, it is that life is not supposed to be about me. Is it heartbreaking to raise and love a child for half of a year and then have him taken away to a bad situation? Yes, it has brought me to tears more than once in the last couple of days, but I'm not doing it for me. It’s really not about the baby either, it’s about Christ. Matthew 25:34-40 says

“Then the King will say . . . For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

How awesome it is that even though he is not physically here, Christ has given us a tangible way to serve him here on earth! When we feed the hungry, we are in essence feeding our Savior. When we love our neighbor, we are loving Jesus. When we care for an orphan, we are loving and serving Christ himself.

THIS is what makes foster parenting an honor and a joy despite the hard days and moments and despite the fact that it may or may not “make a difference” in the end – it is an opportunity to daily pour one’s life out for Christ, to love him, to serve him, to feed and clothe him. Having baby K in our home has been a constant challenge and reminder for these six months that our lives are not about us, that our lives are not our own, that, as John 3:30 says, “He must become greater; I must become less.” I fail miserably at living this out as well as I want to most days (ok, every day), but I am grateful to God for using that precious little boy to challenge us and to draw us closer to Himself.

Please keep K in your prayers this week as he goes through what will be a huge transition in his little life!

Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails . . .

and wagons and trucks . . .





and balls . . .



and dirt . . .



and sticks . ..


THAT'S what little boys are made of!!!

God's Plan for Orphans . . .

People often look at fostering/adoption/orphan advocacy and tell us, "That's a special calling." Yes, it is . . . but I would argue that caring for the orphans/fatherless, whether through adoption, fostering, supporting others who are adopting or fostering, or some other means . . . is not a special calling not just for me or my family or a tiny group within the church. . . it's the calling for anyone who claims to be a follower of Christ.

Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. ~Isaiah 1:17

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. ~Proverbs 31:8

And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. ~Matthew 18:5

Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me . . . whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. ~Matthew 25:40&45

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~James 1:27

This Is a GREAT and very convicting video with some hard truths in it that we ALL should take time to watch . . .

Just an Update

I was at a park a few months ago, and some children were playing "house" as children do, and I couldn't believe my ears/eyes when I heard a little girl say, "I'll be the mom!" and then pretend to be on her laptop or phone the entire time. Yikes! If your kids were to play "house," how would they play your role? I want my kids to see the Mommy as someone who spends quality time playing, teaching, loving, and taking care of her family and not as a person who is usually distracted at the computer or phone, and I vowed that afternoon to make my computer off limits during their awake time (and I refuse to get a phone with internet b/c I don't even want that temptation and am not nearly important enough to need to need internet access anywhere and everywhere I go). So all that to say - now that the boys have transitioned to just one nap time, my blog updates have been few . . . but here goes . . .

Adoption: We received the last bit of paperwork we needed from Uganda yesterday, and Scott's office manager is working on notorizing a huge stack of 66 (yes, you read that right!) documents so we can send all of our paperwork to our agency tomorrow. Our dossier should be in Uganda by the end of next week! Once it arrives, our attorney can file for a court date. The courts are closed December 15-January 15, so we are hoping to get a call in January telling us to get on an airplane!

There is another family adopting from Malachi's orphange who is taking a trip there next week, and we were able to send a little care package with them for Malachi. It was so wonderful to be able to send some special little things to our little boy, and they are also going to take some updated pictures and videos of him for us which we can't wait to see.

I received an update today on all the babies in the home, and there was just one sentence about our little guy, and it read,

He cries, he's been sick...he gets lonely and needs company...likes to be around others.

Needless to say, that update broke this mother's heart, and I cannot wait to be there to hold my sweet son when he is sick or sad or lonely. I hate that he doesn't yet have a mommy or a daddy there to love on and hold and comfort him. Please join us in praying for a court date in January so that we can get to our boy as soon as possible!

Javen: He is 19 months old now and full of energy. He has recently begun climbing up and on everything - he even climbed all the way to the top of a 7 foot adult-sized ladder last week totally by himself (Daddy was there to make sure he didn't fall off)! He is talking up a storm and says a lot of words very clearly. Last month, I went from "Mama" to "Mommy", and while I was pretty sad to see the baby version slip away, it is pretty cute to hear his sweet little voice calling for "Mommy" all day. He loves to read (reading is pretty much the only time he is not moving) and he LOVES balls these days - he usually has either a book or a ball in his hands - sometimes both.:) He is ALL boy, which I just love. His favorite part of the day is when Daddy comes home. They like to go out and play in Daddy's truck every night. He loves to laugh, and he loves to try to make us laugh. He is very social and love to play outside with all the neighborhood kids every evening. He is an absolute joy and gets more fun by the day.

Baby K: Our foster baby, baby K., is 14 months old now and has been with us for 5 months now. We have gotten to see him grow from a baby into a little boy, and he is as cute and sweet as can be. It is looking like he will be leaving us in the next few weeks to be placed with a relative, after which we will switch to doing shorter term respite/emergency shelter foster care until after our adoption (and will take a break from fostering altogether for a little bit while we adjust to our new son).

Life: Life is full and sweet and exhausting these days. Scott is staying busy at work, and my days are never dull with these two little ones underfoot, and of course we are all in a bit of a season of waiting while we prepare to travel to Uganda.

We took some family pictures last week, and I'll try to post a few of them in the next few days.:)

Missing Mallory

I have been missing my sweet sister Mallory this week and having a hard time believing that today marked a full year without her. In a way, it feels like she was here in my living room just yesterday, but when I think about how much she has missed - and how much we have missed her - it feels like much longer than just one year has passed since she was here with us. . .

I've been trying to think of a tradition to start with our children to remember and celebrate their Aunt Mal every year - something that would allow her to be a special part of our children's lives and that would enable her life to continue touching others as she did so well throughout her 25 years. I decided to borrow the idea of my sweet friend Carolina, who lost her precious new son Andrew a couple of years ago and who, along with her husbad, celebrates his life every year by finding a way to serve others on Andrew's birthday.

Opportunites to serve are limited with two kids under 18 months, but this afternoon I took the boys to visit a retirement community/assisted living home, and they brought many smiles and much joy to some sweet, lonely, elderly men and women. We were also asked to speak at a foster parent training class in the evening, so we took the boys along and were grateful for a second opportunity to serve as a family on this special day. I am grateful for such a special way to celebrate Mallory's life, and I know this will be a special tradition in our family for the rest of our lives (thanks, Carolina!).

The boys bringing smiles to the assited living home - and Javen borrowing one of his new friend's hats:)


A video about Mal