If I had to choose one word to describe these past three weeks home, it would be "joy." A close second would be "gratitude."
I am so grateful to be home with my husband again. My heart overflows as I watch my sons enjoying their father and LOVING getting to play with him again. They truly couldn't have a better Daddy, and I think they know it.
Tears fill my eyes multiple times a day as I watch Malachi transform a little bit more each hour, slowly but steadily gaining confidence that we are his family and that he is here to stay.
What pure joy it is seeing the light in the eyes that a few short months ago were dull and lifeless. . .
hearing the sweet belly laughter from a child who 14 weeks ago did not know how to smile . . .
hearing "Mama" and "Daddy" for the first time come from the lips of this child who was an orphan just weeks ago . . .
seeing Javen's love and protectiveness for his new brother when we were so prepared for jealousy and squabbling . . .
I could go on and on. The days have been filled with sweetness and precious moments.
I am humbled and grateful and completely undeserving of this sweet blessing, of this precious life entrusted to our family, of this ever-present reminder of our own transformation and redemption in Christ. I'm in awe of the God who is allowing us to be a part of Malachi's story and who brought us together from opposite sides of the earth. Adoption is no less a miracle than pregnancy and childbirth, and even more so in so many ways. We are blessed. Pictures to follow . . .
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Favorite Family Pictures From Uganda
Very first family-of-four picture
First Court Hearing
On the Shores of Lake Victoria
Boat ride on Lake Victoria
At the Source of the Nile River
Boat Ride on the Nile
Visiting Bujagali Falls on the Nile River in Jinja
Where Nile River begins out of Lake Victoria
First Court Hearing
On the Shores of Lake Victoria
Boat ride on Lake Victoria
At the Source of the Nile River
Boat Ride on the Nile
Visiting Bujagali Falls on the Nile River in Jinja
Where Nile River begins out of Lake Victoria
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Dear Friends and Family
We are finally making plans to bring our precious new son home! As Malachi's parents and forever family, we are committed to doing what we believe is best to help him thrive. This will take a lot of work on our part and understanding and cooperation from everyone around us. Because you care for our family, we want to share the following information to help you assist us in laying a strong and healthy emotional foundation for Malachi.
FORMING ATTACHMENT. Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time. In a normal parent/child relationship, when a child communicates a physical or emotional need, a parent meets the need and soothes the child. This attachment cycle repeats over and over again, creating a trusting and secure relationship between the child and her parents. By God's design, a foundation of attachment is laid in the tiniest of babies that will profoundly impact their behavior, learning, health, emotions, relationships, and values for the rest of their lives.
INTERRUPTIONS IN ATTACHMENT. Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this attachment process. The loss of biological parents at an early age is a major trauma on their little hearts, whether they are a few weeks or several years old. Spending time in an orphanage with a rotation of caretakers disrupts the attachment process even further.
RECREATING ATTACHMENT. In his first two months with me (Whitney), Malachi has adjusted wonderfully but is understandably overwhelmed. He has lost the only caregivers that he remembers, and everything around him is new and different. He is just beginning to learn about his environment, love, and family; he did not experience God's design for a family in an orphanage setting for his last 14 months of life. The best way for Scott and me to form a parent/child bond with Malachi is to be the only ones to hold, snuggle, kiss, instruct, soothe, and feed him for these first few months at home. Although it may appear that we are spoiling him, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. During this time, as part of the "cocooning" process, Malachi will have structure, boundaries, and close proximity to us that is different than a child who enters a family at birth. Please be assured that we did not make these decisions lightly: our adjustment and parenting plan has been thoughtfully made based on many months of prayer, education, and research.
As we promptly and consistently meet all of his needs in a predictable, secure environment, Malachi will learn that we are his parents, that the world is a good place, that his needs make sense, and that he can trust us to meet his needs and love him deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn parent/child connection. After Malachi establishes this important bond with us, he will be able to form other meaningful relationships and modulate his emotions, and – Lord willing – grow into a healthy, well-adjusted, Godly young man, notwithstanding the challenges in his little life that brought him to us.
HOW YOU MAY HELP. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have Malachi hugged, cuddled, and cherished by ALL of you (he is, after all, totally irresistible!). Until he has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, however, we would be grateful if you would limit your physical contact with him and redirect him to us if you see that he is seeking out food, affection, or comfort. Sharing this request is difficult for us because we do not want to seem ungrateful for how well all of you have loved our family and prayed for this sweet boy for the past year, but it is necessary because of Malachi's circumstances.
Please set physical boundaries. It is important that other adults refrain from what is typically considered normal physical contact with Malachi. This will (for a while) include things like holding, excessive hugging, and kissing. Children who have spent time in an orphanage are inclined to superficially attach to anyone and everyone, which hinders their most important primary relationship with their new parents. By setting physical boundaries as the adult, you will help Malachi learn the difference between you and us. Waving, blowing kisses, and high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcome! Please redirect Malachi’s desire to have his physical and emotional needs met by anyone else (including family, friends, and strangers), to having Scott or me meet them until primary attachments have been established.
RISK. If we seem overly focused on this topic, we are: this is too important to get wrong. Children who fail to establish a healthy bond with their parents may suffer the rest of their lives with Reactive Attachment Disorder, which causes severe interpersonal and behavioral difficulties into adulthood. While we want to let you hold and love on Malachi, the risk is too great these first few months, and the potential consequences too devastating. We hope that you will understand and support us in making these tough choices for Malachi’s long term well-being.
We are incredibly blessed to have so many friends and loved ones around us. Thank you again for your love, prayers, and support during our adoption journey. We have been incredibly blessed by all of you during these past months and appreciate your support as we adjust to life as a family of four!
FORMING ATTACHMENT. Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time. In a normal parent/child relationship, when a child communicates a physical or emotional need, a parent meets the need and soothes the child. This attachment cycle repeats over and over again, creating a trusting and secure relationship between the child and her parents. By God's design, a foundation of attachment is laid in the tiniest of babies that will profoundly impact their behavior, learning, health, emotions, relationships, and values for the rest of their lives.
INTERRUPTIONS IN ATTACHMENT. Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this attachment process. The loss of biological parents at an early age is a major trauma on their little hearts, whether they are a few weeks or several years old. Spending time in an orphanage with a rotation of caretakers disrupts the attachment process even further.
RECREATING ATTACHMENT. In his first two months with me (Whitney), Malachi has adjusted wonderfully but is understandably overwhelmed. He has lost the only caregivers that he remembers, and everything around him is new and different. He is just beginning to learn about his environment, love, and family; he did not experience God's design for a family in an orphanage setting for his last 14 months of life. The best way for Scott and me to form a parent/child bond with Malachi is to be the only ones to hold, snuggle, kiss, instruct, soothe, and feed him for these first few months at home. Although it may appear that we are spoiling him, we have been advised that it is best that we meet every need quickly and consistently. During this time, as part of the "cocooning" process, Malachi will have structure, boundaries, and close proximity to us that is different than a child who enters a family at birth. Please be assured that we did not make these decisions lightly: our adjustment and parenting plan has been thoughtfully made based on many months of prayer, education, and research.
As we promptly and consistently meet all of his needs in a predictable, secure environment, Malachi will learn that we are his parents, that the world is a good place, that his needs make sense, and that he can trust us to meet his needs and love him deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn parent/child connection. After Malachi establishes this important bond with us, he will be able to form other meaningful relationships and modulate his emotions, and – Lord willing – grow into a healthy, well-adjusted, Godly young man, notwithstanding the challenges in his little life that brought him to us.
HOW YOU MAY HELP. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have Malachi hugged, cuddled, and cherished by ALL of you (he is, after all, totally irresistible!). Until he has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, however, we would be grateful if you would limit your physical contact with him and redirect him to us if you see that he is seeking out food, affection, or comfort. Sharing this request is difficult for us because we do not want to seem ungrateful for how well all of you have loved our family and prayed for this sweet boy for the past year, but it is necessary because of Malachi's circumstances.
Please set physical boundaries. It is important that other adults refrain from what is typically considered normal physical contact with Malachi. This will (for a while) include things like holding, excessive hugging, and kissing. Children who have spent time in an orphanage are inclined to superficially attach to anyone and everyone, which hinders their most important primary relationship with their new parents. By setting physical boundaries as the adult, you will help Malachi learn the difference between you and us. Waving, blowing kisses, and high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcome! Please redirect Malachi’s desire to have his physical and emotional needs met by anyone else (including family, friends, and strangers), to having Scott or me meet them until primary attachments have been established.
RISK. If we seem overly focused on this topic, we are: this is too important to get wrong. Children who fail to establish a healthy bond with their parents may suffer the rest of their lives with Reactive Attachment Disorder, which causes severe interpersonal and behavioral difficulties into adulthood. While we want to let you hold and love on Malachi, the risk is too great these first few months, and the potential consequences too devastating. We hope that you will understand and support us in making these tough choices for Malachi’s long term well-being.
We are incredibly blessed to have so many friends and loved ones around us. Thank you again for your love, prayers, and support during our adoption journey. We have been incredibly blessed by all of you during these past months and appreciate your support as we adjust to life as a family of four!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Best Kind of News!!!
After months of waiting and disappointment and frustration, the paperwork we were waiting for came through this week, and we are FINALLY able to file for court! We are waiting for a court date (which may not come with much notice) and hope to be in Uganda very soon to meet the baby boy we have already fallen in love with and have been praying for and longing to hold in our arms since October.
A father to the fatherless,
a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in families
~Psalm 68:5-6a
Praising the Lord today for his faithfulness in placing this precious lonely child in a family! We're coming for you soon, Malachi!
A father to the fatherless,
a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely in families
~Psalm 68:5-6a
Praising the Lord today for his faithfulness in placing this precious lonely child in a family! We're coming for you soon, Malachi!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Out of the Hospital!!!
We were so grateful to get word today that Malachi and the other sick babies from his orphanage were released from the hospital. Please pray for their continued recovery and for our process to go as quickly and smoothly as possible (there are currently more delays and hoops to jump through over the next couple of weeks - so frustrating!) so that we and all these other babies' families can get over there and bring them home SOON!
Thanks for your prayers for our sweet boy. It was scary not knowing what was going on or what was wrong with him, and on top of that we just hated the thought of the poor little guy being in the hospital all alone!
Thanks for your prayers for our sweet boy. It was scary not knowing what was going on or what was wrong with him, and on top of that we just hated the thought of the poor little guy being in the hospital all alone!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sick Babies
We just received word that little Malachi and two of the other babies in his orphanage were admitted to the hospital with "cough, cold, and fever." That is all the info we received, and we are of course quite concerned. Please join us in praying for all three of these little ones. I'll update here as soon as we get more news.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Malachi Update
We were hoping to be in Uganda about now, but we are still waiting. Long story short, we are waiting for a paperwork issue to be cleared up on the Ugandan side of things that we expect will take another couple of weeks. After the paperwork is cleared, we can finally file for court and hopefully be on an airplane to Uganda within a month or so of filing.
It is so hard to wait and frustrating to have delay after delay - there has been a delay in literally EVERY single step of our adoption process thus far! It has been a challenging lesson in trusting in God's sovereignty and believing that He has the perfect time chosen for our little boy to come home. I keep reminding myself that God created our little boy and loves him even more than we do . . . but it is so hard to be patient when your son is on the other side of the world and you can't get to him!
We found out recently that Malachi is younger than we originally were told. We were told back in October that they thought he was born in February, but the date they ended up estimating for him and putting on his birth certificate is in April! So Lord willing, we will get to celebrate his 1st birthday with him either in Uganda or back home!:)
Please be praying (a)for the paperwork issue to be cleared up so that we can file for court, and (b)that we will be issued a court date very quickly once we are filed!
It is so hard to wait and frustrating to have delay after delay - there has been a delay in literally EVERY single step of our adoption process thus far! It has been a challenging lesson in trusting in God's sovereignty and believing that He has the perfect time chosen for our little boy to come home. I keep reminding myself that God created our little boy and loves him even more than we do . . . but it is so hard to be patient when your son is on the other side of the world and you can't get to him!
We found out recently that Malachi is younger than we originally were told. We were told back in October that they thought he was born in February, but the date they ended up estimating for him and putting on his birth certificate is in April! So Lord willing, we will get to celebrate his 1st birthday with him either in Uganda or back home!:)
Please be praying (a)for the paperwork issue to be cleared up so that we can file for court, and (b)that we will be issued a court date very quickly once we are filed!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Celebrating Malachi!
A couple of weekends ago, some of my friends completely surprised me with a baby shower for Malachi. Special friends from all diferent parts of my life and from the different places that Scott and I have lived were there, and several even drove from a couple of hours away to come celebrate and anticipate our new son with me. Adoption has been a much more difficult and emotional journey than I expected, and the love, support, and prayers of our wonderful group of friends has meant so much to us.
Diaper Cake:)
A beautiful cake my friend Kelly made (that's right - she MADE it!)
Wonderful friends
Diaper Cake:)
A beautiful cake my friend Kelly made (that's right - she MADE it!)
Wonderful friends
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
God's Plan for Orphans . . .
People often look at fostering/adoption/orphan advocacy and tell us, "That's a special calling." Yes, it is . . . but I would argue that caring for the orphans/fatherless, whether through adoption, fostering, supporting others who are adopting or fostering, or some other means . . . is not a special calling not just for me or my family or a tiny group within the church. . . it's the calling for anyone who claims to be a follower of Christ.
Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. ~Isaiah 1:17
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. ~Proverbs 31:8
And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. ~Matthew 18:5
Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me . . . whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. ~Matthew 25:40&45
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~James 1:27
This Is a GREAT and very convicting video with some hard truths in it that we ALL should take time to watch . . .
Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. ~Isaiah 1:17
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves. ~Proverbs 31:8
And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. ~Matthew 18:5
Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me . . . whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. ~Matthew 25:40&45
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~James 1:27
This Is a GREAT and very convicting video with some hard truths in it that we ALL should take time to watch . . .
Saturday, October 30, 2010
BIG NEWS!!!
We received our referral on Monday!!!
For those who aren't familiar with the adoption lingo, the "referral" is when you are officially matched with the child you are going to adopt.
We were sent some pictures and videos which I am not allowed to post (if I see you in person I can show you:), but he is absolutely adorable. I still tear up every time I look at his sweet face. It blows me away that God knew before He created this precious child, before this child became an orphan, before we even started this process and through all the bumps and curves in our adoption journey, that THIS is the child he was leading us to, that this specific little guy would be our son.
Of course now that we have a little son waiting for us, it is so hard to wait to meet him and to hold him and to bring him out of the orphanage and into our home and family. It kills me to be missing his babyhood milestones and not to be the one to hold him and kiss him when he cries and all those other things that mommies are supposed to do. Our paperwork is already with our attorney in Uganda, and there are some more paperwork steps we need to go through, but assuming all goes fairly smoothly, we are hoping/expecting to travel in January or February.
The estimated time in country for the adoption is 4-6 weeks. Scott and Javen and I will all go over for the first 7-14 days for court, and then because Scott can't miss that much work, he will come back to the states while the rest of us stay behind to wait for the paperwork and visas to be finished so that we can come home. I cannot wait for that day!
We are naming our little son Malachi. We have always loved that name, and I think it is so fitting for this baby because I just love the underlying theme of God's incredible faithfulness and abundant grace that resonates throughout the book of Malachi in the Bible. Malachi is believed to have been born around February of this year, so assuming that is fairly accurate, he will be about 10 months younger than Javen.
We covet your prayers over these next few months. We are of course praying overall for a fast and smooth process, safe and healthy travels, etc., but here are three specific things we are praying for right now . . .
-For Malachi's health and safety in the orphanage
-For the women who are loving on and caring for him in the orphanage (it's a Christian orphanage)
-For our paperwork to be processed quickly - in particular that the officer assigned to our case at the USCIS would move on it quickly.
Thank you for praying for and rejoicing with us - we can't wait to introduce Malachi to all of you!
For those who aren't familiar with the adoption lingo, the "referral" is when you are officially matched with the child you are going to adopt.
We were sent some pictures and videos which I am not allowed to post (if I see you in person I can show you:), but he is absolutely adorable. I still tear up every time I look at his sweet face. It blows me away that God knew before He created this precious child, before this child became an orphan, before we even started this process and through all the bumps and curves in our adoption journey, that THIS is the child he was leading us to, that this specific little guy would be our son.
Of course now that we have a little son waiting for us, it is so hard to wait to meet him and to hold him and to bring him out of the orphanage and into our home and family. It kills me to be missing his babyhood milestones and not to be the one to hold him and kiss him when he cries and all those other things that mommies are supposed to do. Our paperwork is already with our attorney in Uganda, and there are some more paperwork steps we need to go through, but assuming all goes fairly smoothly, we are hoping/expecting to travel in January or February.
The estimated time in country for the adoption is 4-6 weeks. Scott and Javen and I will all go over for the first 7-14 days for court, and then because Scott can't miss that much work, he will come back to the states while the rest of us stay behind to wait for the paperwork and visas to be finished so that we can come home. I cannot wait for that day!
We are naming our little son Malachi. We have always loved that name, and I think it is so fitting for this baby because I just love the underlying theme of God's incredible faithfulness and abundant grace that resonates throughout the book of Malachi in the Bible. Malachi is believed to have been born around February of this year, so assuming that is fairly accurate, he will be about 10 months younger than Javen.
We covet your prayers over these next few months. We are of course praying overall for a fast and smooth process, safe and healthy travels, etc., but here are three specific things we are praying for right now . . .
-For Malachi's health and safety in the orphanage
-For the women who are loving on and caring for him in the orphanage (it's a Christian orphanage)
-For our paperwork to be processed quickly - in particular that the officer assigned to our case at the USCIS would move on it quickly.
Thank you for praying for and rejoicing with us - we can't wait to introduce Malachi to all of you!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Our Adoption Rollercoaster
This started as an adoption blog, and maybe you have noticed that I haven't mentioned the adoption in a while. . . .
We have had some pretty MAJOR changes of plans over the last couple of months, but since we felt like we keep announcing new plans and then having them fail to work out, this time we decided not to share our updates with many people until we actually were fairly certain that the latest set of plans would actually come to fruition. You know the phrase "We plan, God laughs"? Well, he's been doing lots of laughing at us (me in particular!) lately as He has been teaching us that try what we will, everything will happen in His perfect way and in His perfect timing - not ours!
We have have been thrown some new loops in this wild adoption roller coaster ride in the last couple of months, so I'll start at the beginning and recap and try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. . .
Since before we got married, we have felt the call and the desire to grow our family through adoption from Africa. When we were getting close to starting the process and started researching our options to see which African countries' criteria met ours and we theirs, it came down to two countries - Uganda and Ethiopia. While there can always be bumps in the road, Ethiopia's process was very stable and simple - an agency would do most of the legwork for us on the Ethiopian side of things, and the travel was short and predictable. With Uganda, we would do all the legwork, it required a much longer in-country stay of an unknown length, the process was not as stable, and it was not nearly as predictable or as "easy" as the Ethiopian process. After talking and praying about it, though, we were surprised that we both felt absolutley certain that we were supposed to adopt from Uganda, and we began moving in that direction.
The month we made that decision, it seemed like everyone we talked to had some connections with friends or family or missionaries in Uganda (mostly in the capital city of Kampala where we planned to be!), and we thought these sudden connections affirmed that we were making the right decision.
A few months into the process, Uganda had some major issues with their adoptions, and things came to a standstill. We could not get answers from anyone, orphanages stopped giving referrals, and no one knew when or even if adoptions would continue in this country. We decided to get out while we still could, and we went back to the drawing board.
This was when we learned about Rwanda. The program was fairly new (but became popular fast!) but also seemed stable, and we found a Christian ministry that facilitates Rwandan adoptions that would walk us through the steps. Since we had been SO certain that our kids were in Uganda, we were very surprised and disappointed and confused when we made the change to Rwanda, but I surmised that since Rwanda wasn't on our radar before, perhaps this failed Ugandan side trip was God's way of getting us to Rwanda . . .
Fast forward a few more months to August. Most of our Rwanda dossier documents are gathered and ready to go to Tallahassee. All we need is our USCIS approval, but due to a change in the way they are processing the adoption applications, what was supposed to be a three-week process is at 3 months and counting. All we need is that approval, and then within a few weeks, we can have our dossier in Rwanda (it has to go through Tallahassee and Washington first) and will officially be a "waiting family."
Then one day toward the end of August, we received an e-mail from our facilitating ministry informing us that without warning (NO ONE saw this coming), the Rwandan Embassy was about to announce that they were closing to new adoption applications as of the end of August. While they said they plan to reopen at some point, no one knows if it will be in six months or in six years. This was quite a blow, and since we did not feel that we were able or willing to put our family on hold indefinitely, we were back to square one. On the bright side, because everything was still in process at the USCIS, changing countries would require only a fairly simple amendment to our home study and a change of country request for the USCIS.
The same day we got the e-mail about Rwanda, I got an e-mail from an aquaintance (a Mama who recently adopted a little boy from Uganda) . . . . . it was an e-mail about how she was helping a long-established and and highly reputable agency start a pilot program in Uganda and was looking for families who were interested in adopting from orphanges there. The problems that had halted things earlier in the year were resolved, and Ugandan adoptions were again moving smoothly and with enough stability for this agency to start a program there. Feeling (again) that Uganda was the place, but wanting to do our due diligence, I called a couple of Ethiopian adoption agencies, and it became more and more clear during those conversations that Ethiopia was not a good fit for us at this time.
So . . . we are back to Uganda! After researching and talking and praying about this decision, we feel that this is the direction we are supposed to take. Part of me wonders if we jumped out of the Uganda boat too soon a few months back when things there were looking pretty grim and impossible, but I do think we are on a better track now, as it will be a much easier process for us now that we have an agency to make the connections for us and to guide and help us through the process - and since our paperwork is taking forever at the USCIS (it's finally starting to move!), all these changes of countries have not been the cause of any delay!
Another change (and it is a long explanation - you can ask me in person if you're really curious!) is that we will be adopting ONE child instead of TWO as we had originally planned. We want to keep the birth order with Javen as the oldest, so the baby we adopt will be a boy born some time after May of '09.
We hope to be able to share some more exciting updates very soon such as travel specifics and time frame, but for now we wanted to share what has been going on and to let it be known that it is a UGANDAN baby who will be joining our family.:)
Hopefully there will be no more crazy loops on this ride!!!
We have had some pretty MAJOR changes of plans over the last couple of months, but since we felt like we keep announcing new plans and then having them fail to work out, this time we decided not to share our updates with many people until we actually were fairly certain that the latest set of plans would actually come to fruition. You know the phrase "We plan, God laughs"? Well, he's been doing lots of laughing at us (me in particular!) lately as He has been teaching us that try what we will, everything will happen in His perfect way and in His perfect timing - not ours!
We have have been thrown some new loops in this wild adoption roller coaster ride in the last couple of months, so I'll start at the beginning and recap and try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. . .
Since before we got married, we have felt the call and the desire to grow our family through adoption from Africa. When we were getting close to starting the process and started researching our options to see which African countries' criteria met ours and we theirs, it came down to two countries - Uganda and Ethiopia. While there can always be bumps in the road, Ethiopia's process was very stable and simple - an agency would do most of the legwork for us on the Ethiopian side of things, and the travel was short and predictable. With Uganda, we would do all the legwork, it required a much longer in-country stay of an unknown length, the process was not as stable, and it was not nearly as predictable or as "easy" as the Ethiopian process. After talking and praying about it, though, we were surprised that we both felt absolutley certain that we were supposed to adopt from Uganda, and we began moving in that direction.
The month we made that decision, it seemed like everyone we talked to had some connections with friends or family or missionaries in Uganda (mostly in the capital city of Kampala where we planned to be!), and we thought these sudden connections affirmed that we were making the right decision.
A few months into the process, Uganda had some major issues with their adoptions, and things came to a standstill. We could not get answers from anyone, orphanages stopped giving referrals, and no one knew when or even if adoptions would continue in this country. We decided to get out while we still could, and we went back to the drawing board.
This was when we learned about Rwanda. The program was fairly new (but became popular fast!) but also seemed stable, and we found a Christian ministry that facilitates Rwandan adoptions that would walk us through the steps. Since we had been SO certain that our kids were in Uganda, we were very surprised and disappointed and confused when we made the change to Rwanda, but I surmised that since Rwanda wasn't on our radar before, perhaps this failed Ugandan side trip was God's way of getting us to Rwanda . . .
Fast forward a few more months to August. Most of our Rwanda dossier documents are gathered and ready to go to Tallahassee. All we need is our USCIS approval, but due to a change in the way they are processing the adoption applications, what was supposed to be a three-week process is at 3 months and counting. All we need is that approval, and then within a few weeks, we can have our dossier in Rwanda (it has to go through Tallahassee and Washington first) and will officially be a "waiting family."
Then one day toward the end of August, we received an e-mail from our facilitating ministry informing us that without warning (NO ONE saw this coming), the Rwandan Embassy was about to announce that they were closing to new adoption applications as of the end of August. While they said they plan to reopen at some point, no one knows if it will be in six months or in six years. This was quite a blow, and since we did not feel that we were able or willing to put our family on hold indefinitely, we were back to square one. On the bright side, because everything was still in process at the USCIS, changing countries would require only a fairly simple amendment to our home study and a change of country request for the USCIS.
The same day we got the e-mail about Rwanda, I got an e-mail from an aquaintance (a Mama who recently adopted a little boy from Uganda) . . . . . it was an e-mail about how she was helping a long-established and and highly reputable agency start a pilot program in Uganda and was looking for families who were interested in adopting from orphanges there. The problems that had halted things earlier in the year were resolved, and Ugandan adoptions were again moving smoothly and with enough stability for this agency to start a program there. Feeling (again) that Uganda was the place, but wanting to do our due diligence, I called a couple of Ethiopian adoption agencies, and it became more and more clear during those conversations that Ethiopia was not a good fit for us at this time.
So . . . we are back to Uganda! After researching and talking and praying about this decision, we feel that this is the direction we are supposed to take. Part of me wonders if we jumped out of the Uganda boat too soon a few months back when things there were looking pretty grim and impossible, but I do think we are on a better track now, as it will be a much easier process for us now that we have an agency to make the connections for us and to guide and help us through the process - and since our paperwork is taking forever at the USCIS (it's finally starting to move!), all these changes of countries have not been the cause of any delay!
Another change (and it is a long explanation - you can ask me in person if you're really curious!) is that we will be adopting ONE child instead of TWO as we had originally planned. We want to keep the birth order with Javen as the oldest, so the baby we adopt will be a boy born some time after May of '09.
We hope to be able to share some more exciting updates very soon such as travel specifics and time frame, but for now we wanted to share what has been going on and to let it be known that it is a UGANDAN baby who will be joining our family.:)
Hopefully there will be no more crazy loops on this ride!!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Updates
A few quick family updates . . .
Javen is doing great. He is into EVERYTHING these days now that he is mobile and is keeping us on our toes - and constantly laughing - with his curiosity and his attempts to mimic everything we do.
Like unloading the dishwasher . . .
Climbing the stairs . . .
Flushing the potty (he is not using it yet, though!) . . .
Reorganizing (or rather "disorganizing") my kitchen cabinets . . .
And just being silly (what you see in the following pictures is NOT something he has seen us do!)
Other Updates:
Adoption - no updates, just waiting to hear back from the USCIS (it's taking a long time!), at which point we are ready to send our paperwork to Tallahassee . . . and then to Washington D.C., and then to Rwanda. We are trying to be patient with all the delays we have had and are still hoping to have our dossier in Rwanda by the end of the summer.
Foster baby - We thought our home study was submitted 4 weeks ago, but we just learned from our social worker this week that there has been a problem with their new online paperwork submission process and that our paperwork didn't go through and had to be re-submitted (hard copies submitted by hand this time!) yesterday. So now we know why we haven't heard anything yet - it's because our "you will have a baby within 2-3 weeks" started yesterday instead of 4 weeks ago. We are glad for an update and are confident that God already knows which child he will place in our home and will time everything accordingly!
Javen is doing great. He is into EVERYTHING these days now that he is mobile and is keeping us on our toes - and constantly laughing - with his curiosity and his attempts to mimic everything we do.
Like unloading the dishwasher . . .
Climbing the stairs . . .
Flushing the potty (he is not using it yet, though!) . . .
Reorganizing (or rather "disorganizing") my kitchen cabinets . . .
And just being silly (what you see in the following pictures is NOT something he has seen us do!)
Other Updates:
Adoption - no updates, just waiting to hear back from the USCIS (it's taking a long time!), at which point we are ready to send our paperwork to Tallahassee . . . and then to Washington D.C., and then to Rwanda. We are trying to be patient with all the delays we have had and are still hoping to have our dossier in Rwanda by the end of the summer.
Foster baby - We thought our home study was submitted 4 weeks ago, but we just learned from our social worker this week that there has been a problem with their new online paperwork submission process and that our paperwork didn't go through and had to be re-submitted (hard copies submitted by hand this time!) yesterday. So now we know why we haven't heard anything yet - it's because our "you will have a baby within 2-3 weeks" started yesterday instead of 4 weeks ago. We are glad for an update and are confident that God already knows which child he will place in our home and will time everything accordingly!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
We Are Adopting From . . . .
Rwanda!!!
Due to the current uncertainty and instability regarding adoption in Uganda, we have decided to change our adoption to Rwanda. It is a fairly new program - from what I have read, there were no more than 5 children adopted in the U.S. from Rwanda between 2000-2007. There were 17 U.S. Rwandan adoptions in 2008 and 16 in 2009.
During my research, I found a blog of a family who just brought home two baby boys from Rwanda early this year. I contacted them, and they responded quickly and were eager to help us by referring us to a ministry called Mugisha Ministries that guides families through the process for a minimal fee compared to what agencies charge. We sent our application to Mugisha a couple of weeks ago. As a part of the application, they require that you have spoken with and received counsel from a pastor regarding adoption, and we just received notice today that they received the form from our pastor (kindly filled out and submitted by one of our pastors from Summit Church in Orlando who has four children adopted from Ethiopia- an amazing and beautiful family!) and that they have accepted our application. Now I just mail them a bit more paperwork and a check tomorrow, and after that is received, they will begin helping us build our dossier (a fancy word for "lots and lots of paperwork") to send to Rwanda.
As far as time frame, it all depends on a lot of things/people/paperwork that are out of our control, but based on what I have heard and read, we will likely be travelling to bring them home within a month or two of December. It is a relatively short trip compared to Uganda, as we would spend about a week in Rwanda and then go straight to the embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, for 7-10 days to obtain their visas before heading home. We are still undecided on whether we will take Javen along, but he did get a very cute passport in the mail last week, so he is ready to go with us if we decide to take him.:)
Due to the current uncertainty and instability regarding adoption in Uganda, we have decided to change our adoption to Rwanda. It is a fairly new program - from what I have read, there were no more than 5 children adopted in the U.S. from Rwanda between 2000-2007. There were 17 U.S. Rwandan adoptions in 2008 and 16 in 2009.
During my research, I found a blog of a family who just brought home two baby boys from Rwanda early this year. I contacted them, and they responded quickly and were eager to help us by referring us to a ministry called Mugisha Ministries that guides families through the process for a minimal fee compared to what agencies charge. We sent our application to Mugisha a couple of weeks ago. As a part of the application, they require that you have spoken with and received counsel from a pastor regarding adoption, and we just received notice today that they received the form from our pastor (kindly filled out and submitted by one of our pastors from Summit Church in Orlando who has four children adopted from Ethiopia- an amazing and beautiful family!) and that they have accepted our application. Now I just mail them a bit more paperwork and a check tomorrow, and after that is received, they will begin helping us build our dossier (a fancy word for "lots and lots of paperwork") to send to Rwanda.
As far as time frame, it all depends on a lot of things/people/paperwork that are out of our control, but based on what I have heard and read, we will likely be travelling to bring them home within a month or two of December. It is a relatively short trip compared to Uganda, as we would spend about a week in Rwanda and then go straight to the embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, for 7-10 days to obtain their visas before heading home. We are still undecided on whether we will take Javen along, but he did get a very cute passport in the mail last week, so he is ready to go with us if we decide to take him.:)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Changes
Quite a bit has happened and come to our attention in Uganda in the last weeks and days that have caused us to make a change in our adoption plans. There is currently some upheaval going on in the government and courts in Uganda regarding adoption, and there have recently been some new regulations and rulings that have caused a lot of uncertainty on the future of Ugandan adoption and that have made the process quite a bit more difficult to navigate. They will likely (hopefully!) work through all of this and continue to allow adoptions, but as we are quite hesitant to invest thousands of dollars and months of our time into a process that is so unstable and uncertain, we made the decision late last week to adopt from a different country.
While we are a bit disappointed and frustrated, this could not be happening at a better time, as our home study and USCIS (visa) application can both be switched without cost to a new country (and are the first steps to take no matter where you adopt), and we had not yet sent any money to Uganda or offcially retained our lawyer. So we will not be losing any time or money with this change. It does mean that we will be looking at bringing the babies home closer to the end of the year, which is actually a positive thing for us, as we had been hoping they would join our family when Javen is a little bit older and were thrown into a bit of a whirlwind a few weeks ago with the news that a Ugandan adoption might have occured as soon as June (which would no longer be the case with the new issues they are facing).
We do have another African country that we are very interested in adopting from, and we will post more information in a week or two when we have spoken with a couple of agencies and hopefully gathered enough information to make a decision on our next course of action.
While we are a bit disappointed and frustrated, this could not be happening at a better time, as our home study and USCIS (visa) application can both be switched without cost to a new country (and are the first steps to take no matter where you adopt), and we had not yet sent any money to Uganda or offcially retained our lawyer. So we will not be losing any time or money with this change. It does mean that we will be looking at bringing the babies home closer to the end of the year, which is actually a positive thing for us, as we had been hoping they would join our family when Javen is a little bit older and were thrown into a bit of a whirlwind a few weeks ago with the news that a Ugandan adoption might have occured as soon as June (which would no longer be the case with the new issues they are facing).
We do have another African country that we are very interested in adopting from, and we will post more information in a week or two when we have spoken with a couple of agencies and hopefully gathered enough information to make a decision on our next course of action.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Maybe June??!!
We were able to speak with our lawyer late last night (this morning for him) and got a much better idea of what to do and expect for this adoption process. Our next step, while we wait for our home study to be finalized and our USCIS fingerprinting and approval (just got our notice yesterday that our fingerprinting appointment is the morning of the 17th), is to contact some orphanages and choose one from which to adopt.
Once we have chosen our orphanage, we will ask them to give us a referral (choose our children for us), and then our lawyer can start working on our case as soon as our paperwork is completed and in his hands, which we think will be by April. He believes our court date will be 4-6 weeks after our children have been identified and he has our paperwork in hand. Scott has a big licensing exam for work the first weekend in June that he must be in Tampa to take, so we will have to push it back a little bit and are – Lord willing – most likely looking at a mid-June court date, which means we would be in Kampala for 3-5 weeks and - if the judges give favorable rulings - would be able to bring our babies home at the end of that time.
While I keep using the term “adopt,” things work a little differently in Uganda than in other countries, as you must live there and foster a child for a period of three years before the courts will allow you to legally “adopt” the child. They do, however, allow families to obtain legal guardianship and then complete the adoption in their home country if the judge puts in writing on your judgment that he/she understands that you are obtaining legal guardianship with the intent to take the child/children abroad and subsequently adopt them. This is the route we are planning to take.
Things are moving along faster than we had anticipated, and we are thrilled yet a little bit overwhelmed as we realize that June is only four short months away! There were lots of preparations to make before we had Javen, but when you add to the mix loads of paperwork, various appointments, vaccinations, and planning a long international trip (with a baby) with dates you won’t know until the last minute into a country with which you are not at all familiar, it gets a little bit overwhelming!
Current Prayer Requests:
- For wisdom and guidance over the next couple of weeks as we look into orphanages and identify two babies.
-For the safety, protection, and health of these babies between now and the time that we can go to Uganda.
-For the people who are caring for these and all the other little ones in the orphanage.
-For our paperwork process (mainly the USCIS approval) to continue to move smoothly and quickly.
-That certain things on the Ugandan side of this process would fall into place to make our process smooth and quick from that end (you can e-mail me for more details).
-That as we prepare our home and go through all this paperwork and court process, that God would also be preparing our hearts to become a Mommy and Daddy to these little blessings and Javen’s to be a big brother – that it will be a smooth and sweet transition as we become a family of five.
-For our lawyer as he prepares our case and for the judge who will preside over it.
Once we have chosen our orphanage, we will ask them to give us a referral (choose our children for us), and then our lawyer can start working on our case as soon as our paperwork is completed and in his hands, which we think will be by April. He believes our court date will be 4-6 weeks after our children have been identified and he has our paperwork in hand. Scott has a big licensing exam for work the first weekend in June that he must be in Tampa to take, so we will have to push it back a little bit and are – Lord willing – most likely looking at a mid-June court date, which means we would be in Kampala for 3-5 weeks and - if the judges give favorable rulings - would be able to bring our babies home at the end of that time.
While I keep using the term “adopt,” things work a little differently in Uganda than in other countries, as you must live there and foster a child for a period of three years before the courts will allow you to legally “adopt” the child. They do, however, allow families to obtain legal guardianship and then complete the adoption in their home country if the judge puts in writing on your judgment that he/she understands that you are obtaining legal guardianship with the intent to take the child/children abroad and subsequently adopt them. This is the route we are planning to take.
Things are moving along faster than we had anticipated, and we are thrilled yet a little bit overwhelmed as we realize that June is only four short months away! There were lots of preparations to make before we had Javen, but when you add to the mix loads of paperwork, various appointments, vaccinations, and planning a long international trip (with a baby) with dates you won’t know until the last minute into a country with which you are not at all familiar, it gets a little bit overwhelming!
Current Prayer Requests:
- For wisdom and guidance over the next couple of weeks as we look into orphanages and identify two babies.
-For the safety, protection, and health of these babies between now and the time that we can go to Uganda.
-For the people who are caring for these and all the other little ones in the orphanage.
-For our paperwork process (mainly the USCIS approval) to continue to move smoothly and quickly.
-That certain things on the Ugandan side of this process would fall into place to make our process smooth and quick from that end (you can e-mail me for more details).
-That as we prepare our home and go through all this paperwork and court process, that God would also be preparing our hearts to become a Mommy and Daddy to these little blessings and Javen’s to be a big brother – that it will be a smooth and sweet transition as we become a family of five.
-For our lawyer as he prepares our case and for the judge who will preside over it.
Friday, January 8, 2010
The Process
We are currently in the middle of our home study, which is technically the first step for the adoption. We had our first (of three) in-home visit with our social worker last night, and it went great. We LOVE the sweet lady who is putting our home study together for us. We have just applied to the USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) to start the process of getting visas for our children, and we now await a date from them for our fingerprinting. We have filled out TONS of paperwork, gathered references, gone through physical exams, and had our home inspected. We have found a great Ugandan lawyer (from what I have read and heard, I think he is one of the best if not THE best family lawyer in Uganda!) who has agreed to take our case, and we have found an orphanage that I am about 90% sure we will go through for our adoption (we will decide for sure after all of our paperwork is completed in a few months).
After we complete our home study, get approval from the USCIS, and have all the necessary paperwork together and in the hands of our lawyer in Uganda, we will contact the orphanage, who will then give us our referral for two baby boys. Our lawyer takes care of things on that end and will put together our case and notify us of our court date (some people only get their court date assigned within a week of when they have to travel!), and we will travel to Uganda for a couple of court dates and some other paperwork that has to be completed there. We are still figuring out whether we will be there for one long trip or two shorter ones a few weeks apart, but from the time we get our referral from the orphanage, it will likely be just a matter of a few months until we bring our babies home!!!
As our path to our adoption has unfolded, it has been a wonderful blessing to find that one after another of the people who will be helping us through this process are also Believers. Diane, the social worker doing our home study, is a Christian. Our lawyer in Uganda is a Christian and has a reputation as a man of integrity, and the orphanage we think we are going to go through is run by a large church in Kampala, Uganda, so our children will be (or perhaps already are!) under the care of people who know and love the Lord. What a blessing!
Please join us in prayer for our adoption journey, for our hearts, for two precious little ones on the other side of the world who are either newborns or who will be entering the world some time in the next few months and who may be spending some part of their sweet little lives hungry and/or abandoned somewhere, and for the birth mom(s) of these children.
After we complete our home study, get approval from the USCIS, and have all the necessary paperwork together and in the hands of our lawyer in Uganda, we will contact the orphanage, who will then give us our referral for two baby boys. Our lawyer takes care of things on that end and will put together our case and notify us of our court date (some people only get their court date assigned within a week of when they have to travel!), and we will travel to Uganda for a couple of court dates and some other paperwork that has to be completed there. We are still figuring out whether we will be there for one long trip or two shorter ones a few weeks apart, but from the time we get our referral from the orphanage, it will likely be just a matter of a few months until we bring our babies home!!!
As our path to our adoption has unfolded, it has been a wonderful blessing to find that one after another of the people who will be helping us through this process are also Believers. Diane, the social worker doing our home study, is a Christian. Our lawyer in Uganda is a Christian and has a reputation as a man of integrity, and the orphanage we think we are going to go through is run by a large church in Kampala, Uganda, so our children will be (or perhaps already are!) under the care of people who know and love the Lord. What a blessing!
Please join us in prayer for our adoption journey, for our hearts, for two precious little ones on the other side of the world who are either newborns or who will be entering the world some time in the next few months and who may be spending some part of their sweet little lives hungry and/or abandoned somewhere, and for the birth mom(s) of these children.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Two New Blessings
John 1:16 was my sister Mallory’s favorite Bible verse, and as I was trying to think of a name for this blog, Mallory’s verse came to mind, and I thought it was perfect. We were blessed 8 months ago with the precious gift of our son, Javen, and – Lord willing – we will be receiving two more little blessings in the fall of this year as we adopt two baby boys from Uganda in East Africa (we don't know who they are yet). One blessing after another!
More details to follow in a few days . . .
More details to follow in a few days . . .
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
