I just wanted to share some things God has been doing in my heart and life over the past few days since baby K. arrived in our home, in hopes that it will encourage and challenge anyone who happens to read this (warning, it may get long!) . . . I hesitated to do so because taking care of one extra baby probably doesn't seem like a big deal or a tough thing for some people who have done way more than that, but I don't claim to be the best "mom of mulitples" out there and have struggled quite a bit this week with this combination of these two particular babies, so with that little disclaimer, I'll share anyway.:)
Baby K. arrived on our doorstep last week with a bad cold/stomach bug. He had a gross snotty nose, he coughed all over everyone, he coated me in disgusting-smelling vomit more than once, he had the most horrible diarreah-filled diapers you will ever see (or smell), and he was just a most disgusting little person (I know, I'm a terrible person for saying and thinking this). He demanded a lot of my time and attention which kept me from getting to enjoy Javen (with whom he of course shared his cold) as I am used to doing, and I have spent the past week watching not only two sick, fussy babies cry in my face, but also watching the clock for the next nap or bed time so I could get a rest and a break from them! I took care of baby K. the best I could, but I did it with a selfish and complaining spirit (and also managed to complain aloud to a few of you along the way!). I did not love him, I did not love taking care of him, and I hoped every time the phone rang that it was a social worker saying they had found a relative to place him with so I could get my life back.
Then, it hit me . . . my life?
The words of Luke 17:33 hit home - "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it." I have been totally trying to keep "my" life and griping about losing it instead of allowing this circumstance to grow me and help me in the life-long journey of learning to die to myself. This (fostering and life in general) is not and should not be about me at all. As John 3:30 states, "He must become greater; I must become less."
A few years ago, the words of Isaiah 58 really took hold of my heart, especially the part where it talks about spending your life for others. That these words are used to describe what it really is to worship God was sobering to me, because while I claim to love and follow Christ, I could never say that I have, as it says in verse 9, "spent" myself on behalf of anyone but myself.
Through reading Isaiah and numerous other passages throughout the New Testament, God's desire that we love and serve those around us developed in me a desire to become a TRUE follower of Christ - to spend myself and my life for those in need to the glory of God - not just to tithe, go to church, maybe even help with the youth or teach Sunday school, volunteer a few hours a week or month with a ministry . . . . but to really pour out my life to Him . . . to be tired at the end of each day from serving Jesus in the form of a child, and not just my own baby, but the little (and snotty-pukey-poopy) baby in need of a home, the baby who doesn't have anyone to hold, protect, provide for, and love him or her.
And so now that I was caught red-handed in a pit of my own complaining selfishness, it is my hope and prayer that over these next days/weeks/months, I will go about the tasks given me with this one child (and any others that come along) - no matter how disgusting or small or unimportant they may seem - with joy and with rejoicing that I am finally getting to live the life I am called to live, that I get to be tired at the end of the day from serving my King, that I am finally living the kind of life where I need God and where I truly can't get through my day well and serve Him fully if I don't get those small moments throughout the day to delve into Scripture for His words of encouragement and challenge and love for me.
Isaiah 58:6-11
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
A Rough Week!
I have not had the time to update, but it has been a crazy past week. Newborn baby J. only remained with us for 5 days and was then taken away Wednesday afternoon to be placed with a relative. We were sad to see that sweet (and very easy - you forget how easy newborns are!) baby leave. Just a few hours after he left us, we got another call from placement, and 10-month-old baby K. arrived on our doorstep.
Baby K. is a sweet baby boy, but the transition has been rough on him and us, as he is old enough to know and miss his Mama and to be scared every time he wakes up and sees unfamiliar faces and surroundings. It is also tough because when a baby arrives, you have no idea what they eat, when they eat, when they sleep, what their schedule is or if they even have one, what sort of bedtime routines they are used to (if any), etc. You know NOTHING, and you suddenly have this child in your care who neither knows nor particularly likes you. In addition, K. arrived sick, and the poor baby threw up every day for his 1st three days here, including one projectile vomit incident that thoroughly coated me, him, his high chair, and everything within about a 4-foot-radius in nasty and very stinky puke. I did get a great picture of Scott doing his share of the clean-up, which was, despite the circumstances, quite hilarious. Only a man would think to clean a like this!
The morning before baby J. arrived, Javen decided to start refusing his naps and has become a fussy MONSTER from about 2PM on. He could not have chosen worse timing and has given me many opportunites to practice patience! This non-napping has continued all week and has been hard to break since his crib and K's crib are just on the other side of a wall from each other where Javen can wake K. up when he cries and screams as he has been doing. Starting tomorrow, though, I am gearing up for battle to get my little napper back. It will probably not be a fun couple of days of naptimes, but it needs to happen for Javen's good (he badly needs the naps) and for my sanity. Hopefully I will win this battle and we will have our sweet happy boy back by the end of this week!
All that to say, the last week has been tiring and at times a struggle with two fussy, unhappy babies, but as a wise friend recently reminded me in reference to trying to live out the Gospel in daily life - "fun was never part of the deal!" I do hope and believe, though, that as we and K. get more adjusted to one another and as Javen begins napping and being pleasant again, some more fun will return to the equation. Today was K's 4th and by far best day with us. He seemed to be feeling much better and starting to adjust to a new family and home and even starting to form a good little bond with me, so hopefully we are on the right track for a good week!
Baby K. is a sweet baby boy, but the transition has been rough on him and us, as he is old enough to know and miss his Mama and to be scared every time he wakes up and sees unfamiliar faces and surroundings. It is also tough because when a baby arrives, you have no idea what they eat, when they eat, when they sleep, what their schedule is or if they even have one, what sort of bedtime routines they are used to (if any), etc. You know NOTHING, and you suddenly have this child in your care who neither knows nor particularly likes you. In addition, K. arrived sick, and the poor baby threw up every day for his 1st three days here, including one projectile vomit incident that thoroughly coated me, him, his high chair, and everything within about a 4-foot-radius in nasty and very stinky puke. I did get a great picture of Scott doing his share of the clean-up, which was, despite the circumstances, quite hilarious. Only a man would think to clean a like this!
The morning before baby J. arrived, Javen decided to start refusing his naps and has become a fussy MONSTER from about 2PM on. He could not have chosen worse timing and has given me many opportunites to practice patience! This non-napping has continued all week and has been hard to break since his crib and K's crib are just on the other side of a wall from each other where Javen can wake K. up when he cries and screams as he has been doing. Starting tomorrow, though, I am gearing up for battle to get my little napper back. It will probably not be a fun couple of days of naptimes, but it needs to happen for Javen's good (he badly needs the naps) and for my sanity. Hopefully I will win this battle and we will have our sweet happy boy back by the end of this week!
All that to say, the last week has been tiring and at times a struggle with two fussy, unhappy babies, but as a wise friend recently reminded me in reference to trying to live out the Gospel in daily life - "fun was never part of the deal!" I do hope and believe, though, that as we and K. get more adjusted to one another and as Javen begins napping and being pleasant again, some more fun will return to the equation. Today was K's 4th and by far best day with us. He seemed to be feeling much better and starting to adjust to a new family and home and even starting to form a good little bond with me, so hopefully we are on the right track for a good week!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Foster Update
We got an e-mail on Friday morning that our fostering license had been granted, and within just a few hours, we got a call from placement, and a one-week baby boy was delivered to our door. Baby J. is absolutely precious and so easy to love - and so tiny, only around 6lbs. He has his days and nights a little mixed up still, but he has been a perfect baby and has hardly made a peep since he arrived (although we are expecting him to find his voice any day now!).
It is such a strange experience to have a stranger drive to your house, chat for 5 minutes, drop off a baby, and drive away. It all happened very fast.
Scott and I had both been thinking that we would be getting an older infant closer to Javen's age, so it took a few hours for us to mentally transition back to the newborn days. I loved the newborn days, though, and am enjoying getting to do them again so soon.
We can't tell yet how well Javen is taking the new addition because despite sleeping GREAT the last few weeks, Javen decided the same day that the baby arrived (yesterday) that naps are overrated, and he has seriously tried my patience these last two days by being clingy and whiney and refusing to nap. He has been so bad that I put him to bed for the night at 5:30pm the last two nights. Since he started his nap boycott yesterday morning before we even knew we were getting a new baby, it is a comfort to me to know that this behavior is not a response to a new sibling. I'm hoping he is cutting a new tooth or something and that we will get our sweet, good-napper son back very soon. So that has been a little unexpected . . . the new baby is a breeze (so far) - aside from a bit less sleep for us, and it's our own baby that is wearing us out!
We consider it an honor and a privilege to have baby J. in our home and are overjoyed at the opportunity to take care of him and love on him for however many months he remains in our care.
It is such a strange experience to have a stranger drive to your house, chat for 5 minutes, drop off a baby, and drive away. It all happened very fast.
Scott and I had both been thinking that we would be getting an older infant closer to Javen's age, so it took a few hours for us to mentally transition back to the newborn days. I loved the newborn days, though, and am enjoying getting to do them again so soon.
We can't tell yet how well Javen is taking the new addition because despite sleeping GREAT the last few weeks, Javen decided the same day that the baby arrived (yesterday) that naps are overrated, and he has seriously tried my patience these last two days by being clingy and whiney and refusing to nap. He has been so bad that I put him to bed for the night at 5:30pm the last two nights. Since he started his nap boycott yesterday morning before we even knew we were getting a new baby, it is a comfort to me to know that this behavior is not a response to a new sibling. I'm hoping he is cutting a new tooth or something and that we will get our sweet, good-napper son back very soon. So that has been a little unexpected . . . the new baby is a breeze (so far) - aside from a bit less sleep for us, and it's our own baby that is wearing us out!
We consider it an honor and a privilege to have baby J. in our home and are overjoyed at the opportunity to take care of him and love on him for however many months he remains in our care.
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