Just a Little Malachi Update

MALACHI THEN . . .

AND NOW . . .

A lot of people have been asking us about Malachi and his adjustment lately, so here’s an update . . . Malachi has been a part of our family for over 5 1/2 months now and home in America for more than three months. In his five months as a part of our family, Malachi has gone from 16 pounds and wearing size 6 months clothes to 26 pounds and a size 2T. We have had the joy of watching him transform from a malnourished, lethargic, depressed infant into a laughing toddler. We’ve watched him go from no mobility to scooting, to crawling, to now taking his first steps in just 5 short months. He has gone from not talking or communicating at all to communicating through grunts and fits, to attempting to copy our words and learning to sign some of his needs and wants. So much progress made and so many HUGE milestones reached in such a short time.

Malachi has been a precious addition to our family, and it was so easy for all of us to fall in love with him (as you can see, he is totally irresistable!). It has been sweet to watch his funny little personality begin to emerge. It has been nothing short of amazing to watch his transformation from a sick, lifeless orphan into our laughing, joyful son. It has been a joy to be his parents, to have the privilege to be the ones to delight in a precious child who has never experienced being delighted in (at least not since the first few months of his life), to share his first steps, first words, and so many other firsts. It was an indescribable feeling when our son for the first time said the words “Mommy” and “Daddy.” It has been humbling to think that God could have chosen anyone to be this little boy’s family and that in His kindness he chose us. We are forever grateful that He did.

Malachi’s first five months with us have have been so joyful and yet at the same time so difficult and heartbreaking in many ways. Some days he seems like a well-adjusted (though still a bit developmentally delayed), normal 2-year-old, and during other days and nights the smallest incidents provoke huge fits of panic, exposing the dark corners of his young life, evidences of the things that have been done to him - or not done for him - and things he has experienced and seen, many of which we may never know about but that have left deep scars on his little heart. Because of his many months of living with painful, gnawing hunger, his little mind still can’t fathom that there will always be another meal, that he can trust us to meet his need for food. Loss after loss in his young life have left deep scars on his heart and a deep fear of abandonment, and when he wakes at night and reaches out for me but doesn’t find me quickly enough, the result is often an attack of sheer panic. My tears have more than once mingled with his as I hold him tight to my heart and whisper over and over that we are his family and that he is not alone and mourn with him for the many nights that he was alone. It is heartbreaking to know your son was hungry and you weren’t there to feed him. That he was sick and I wasn’t there to care for him, that he was crying and hurt and confused and I wasn’t there to hold him and sing to him and whisper words of reassurance into his ears. While I will always mourn the many months of his life that I missed, I am so grateful that Malachi is in our arms and our home now, and we look forward to and pray for the continued healing of his little heart.

Overall, Malachi is doing amazingly well. I will say that we have found that adoptive parenting is WAY harder and more exhausting than “regular” parenting, requiring even more thought, wisdom (fortunately we have many friends who have walked this road ahead of us and who have much wisdom to impart!), and creativity to be applied every single step of the way as we need to be aware of and address physical and emotional needs 24 hours a day 7 days a week with very few breaks (we still can’t leave Malachi with anyone else and I think he has been away from my side maybe a total of 8 hours - night or day - in the last 5 months!), but it is also incredibly rewarding to watch a life transformed in your own living room and to be constantly reminded through our son of the sacrifice God made for us in adopting us into His family. In light of that, nothing we do is even close to worthy of being called a sacrifice!

We are grateful for our new son and cannot wait to see the plans the Lord has for Malachi’s life.