Mallory's First Birthday in Heaven

Today would have been Mallory's 26th birthday and is the first time in 26 years that I haven't been able to see or at least call her to wish her a happy birthday.

I miss her all the time, but there are at least one or two moments in every day when I miss Mallory incredibly much . . . moments when I think of something she is missing that she would have loved . . . when something happens that I want to share with her but can't (our multiple daily phone calls about minute details of our lives that no one else would care about is one of the things I still miss the most -I still pick up the phone to call her sometimes!) . . . moments when family are gathered together and she is not there with us . . . moments when I watch Javen play and think about how much Aunt Mal wanted to be a part of his life and how she would have loved to watch him growing up. . . moments when I see other sisters growing older together and wonder why we didn't get that chance . . .

Then I recall Psalm 84:10 - Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere, and I am reminded that Mallory is not missing out on anything, that she is experiencing a peace and a wholeness and a joy that none of us here has the capacity to imagine, that she would not trade even one day of experiencing God's presence in Heaven for a full lifetime here. Sadness is so opposite from joy, but when I recall Psam 84, I am truly able to feel both deep sorrow and deep joy at the same time.

Sweet Mal, you are so very missed here, but your life continues to be remembered and celebrated by many, and it continues to impact lives and bring glory to God. Love and miss you!